Dear Jessica,

You are one of the most naturally beautiful women in Hollywood today. But why is it that you can never, ever get the red carpet right??  I am not making you review your tragic missteps to be critical. I am only asking that you please get a new stylist or if you are dressing yourself – stop. The Academy Awards are this Sunday. Let’s not repeat any of the following…

Granted, your face is absolutely flawless.

But unless you are dressing up as Loretta Lynn let’s leave the granny couture to the older set.

Bad hair. Worse dress.

A blue velvet suit. A blue velvet suit. A blue velvet suit.

Well, that just about says it.

Look, it’s Princess Vespa from SpaceBalls!

Were you channeling Judy Jetson or Wonder Woman here?

You almost got me here. Almost. I was going to excuse the ratty hair because the dress was quite pretty. That is until I realized it was see-through and you were wearing a black leotard underneath. Oh, Jessica.

To the future Mrs. Timberlake, I will be watching the red carpet Sunday. I pray this letter has reached you in time.

- H&H Mom

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