What’s in a Name?

May 6th, 2011

By Alexis Novak

I can’t help it, I’m a name snob.  I’ve always loved my name, Alexis Alden, which was unique and underused until recently.  (This year Alexis rose to #16 on the most popular name list).  So when we named our daughters we wanted them to have names that wouldn’t be extremely popular and would have a vintage, ultra-feminine vibe yet still emote strength and moxy.  As my mom says, “Could _______ (insert name here) be president of the board?”

I have a Julia (#50) and a Scarlett (#114) who were almost Avery (#23) and Lucy (#75)- names that still rank on my future baby’s name list.

Ask any teacher, the name choice for your beloved offspring speaks much about your style and aspirations of your child’s future.  I find myself trolling nameberry.com and babynamewizard.com whether pregnant or not and studying the new baby announcements at my pediatrician’s office.  I have also gone so far as to ask my pediatrician’s office how many Ava’s (#5) they have as patients.  Is that wrong?

Here are my personal naming rules.

1.  No sibilings with the same first letter.  I have an affinity for J and S names but think it’s totally 80’s when people have 4 kids named Mary, Meredith, Milly and Marge.  Once again, don’t be like the Duggars with their army of J-named brats.

2.  No made-up names.  I am consistently shocked by the popularity of fake names like Jayden (#8), Makayla (#44) and Neveah (#34). Maybe they go back to biblical times but they don’t seem like real names to me and my Microsoft Word agrees.  They feel like strange combo names that no one will ever be able to spell. This kind of naming “creativity” will be a curse to your child when they go to school. Which brings me to…

3.  No phonetically incorrect names.  Ever.  Spending years in the classroom, I can call myself an authority on the ways parents torture their kids with names that don’t sound the way they look.  A classic name, albeit a bit boring, wins over phonetically unsound any day.  Isn’t Katherine better than LaKatherynne that is pronounced LayKatherine?  Just sayin’.

4.  No names that lend themselves to weird nicknames. I love the name Isadora but dread Dora the Explorer as a nickname.  I also like Adelaide but worry about the laid component.  Same with Layla (#45).  High school is brutal.  I’m an authority on that too.

5.  No unisex names for boys. I went to high school with a male Kelly who was pretty hot and well-liked but I would never name a boy a mostly feminine unisex name.  A male Ashley or Shannon better be the hippest Irish kid in school to pull it off.  Unisex names are much easier on girls.  Even mostly male names like Charlie, Ryan and Cameron sound cooler these days on little girls which is a trend I’m hearing a lot of lately.

6.  Pass on explosive pop culture names (especially at the beginning of the trend when the names appeal to the masses).  If you don’t mind your child being one of five Isabella’s in her class, far be it from me to judge.   I like the five most popular and ladylike girl names, Sophia, Isabella, Olivia, Emma, Chloe, but don’t want my kids to have to go by a nickname because there are multiples.  If you pick a name made recently huge by “Glee”, “Twilight” or “Pretty Little Liars” then forget it.  If you pick a name that is already monogrammed on a crib quilt in the Pottery Barn catalogue then you have reached the ultimate in yupster popularity and that name has already peaked.  It happens to the best of us.  Then you simply have to…

7.  Wait for the popular to become unpopular again.  Naming trends are always cycling.  I like many popular names but I would wait five years to name a child a formerly very popular name like Ella (#13) and by then my eggs will have expired.  You could also just name your baby the name you like and not give a crap about popularity.  What if your fave popular name isn’t big in your area anyway? Check the babynamewizard maps which tracks where in the country parents are naming their baby boys Aiden.

8.  Give a nod to your ancestors.  Half the reason I’ve done genealogical research is to discover interesting family names like Olive (#546) and Mathilda (#800).  I took a something borrowed, something new approach to naming by giving the kids familial middle names from their grandmothers and then original first names.  We all deserve our own identity (I am not a fan of juniors for this reason) but history is important too.

9.  Keep the name a secret until the baby arrives.  How rude is it when you love a name while pregnant and then everyone weighs in that they hate it?  Once the birth announcement is out and they see that precious bean no one will be rude enough to say they hate the name.  Ok, well some will…

10. The name I am in love with is a name my friend hates.  I had a friend tell me that she was surprised I picked Julia since it was so plain and she expected “more” from me. And my sweet Julia was over a year at that point.  Then another pregnant friend said within my ear shot that she hated the name I chose. Um, thanks. Maybe I shouldn’t talk names anymore with my equally-opinionated still-breeding friends.  I won’t make fun of your little Neveah if you will leave my Julia alone. Truce?

What are your naming rules? How did you decide on the names of your children?

Check out the Top 100 names here!

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Written by Alexis Novak8 Comments

8 Responses to What’s in a Name?

    DrBabyMamaDrama Tue, Jan 11, 8:56pm

    Reply

    I love every single point you made in this article. I am a pediatrician and I can’t stand made up names either!

    Christine Wed, Jan 12, 10:46am

    Reply

    I totally agree. I’m not a fan of made up names or well known names that are spelled odd in an effort to be more creative. It just makes it harder on the kid. My memories of always having about 4 kids in my class with the same name stuck with me, as a result, when we have kids I’m going to make sure we try to branch out when it comes to their names.

    On a side note, I looked up my name, Christine, on both websites you mentioned. My name is seriously unpopular! LOL Maybe because it’s associated with a Stephen King novel?

    Quincey Mon, Jan 17, 1:54pm

    Reply

    Right on, Alexis! I think our years teaching give us more insight into the naming process than many parents who don’t deal with kids all day. You know I like unusual names, (exhibit a: Ellery) but I really like how you kind of stand up for the dignity of the kids here and their right to not have a stupid, unpronounceable and unspellable name. Also, who are these beeyotches badmouthing your kids names in front of you? Just say the word, Lex, and I’ll take care of them! :-P

    Running Betty Mon, Jan 24, 3:53pm

    Reply

    I think many of the “popular and ladylike girl names” are people naming for Grandmothers and Great Grandmothers. My daughters always say they have “British old lady names” (Alice and Wendy). And indeed they do. And there’s not a British bone in my body. But they are also heroines of my favorite books, and they can always find Tshirts and Walt Disney World with their names on them!

    Sincerely, their classrooms didn’t need another Jordan.

    My grandmother’s name is Toby. On her first day of kindergarten, her teacher said that was a boy’s name and called her Thelma. She is to this day at 80+ years old still Thelma. Maybe someday my kids will name their kid Toby and bring the name back to life.

    Kristin Fri, May 6, 10:57am

    Reply

    Awesome points, Lex. What’s sad is that I saw my boys names on Pottery Barn quilts AFTER I picked them (Spencer & Cooper) & swear its because I ordered stuff from there & they liked them so much;)

    Alexis Novak Fri, May 6, 12:29pm

    Reply

    I have to add that since I wrote this piece, I spotted both Julia and Scarlett on Pottery Barn quilts and new baby birth announcements at the pediatrician’s. Damn!!! Kristin, your idea makes me feel much better. PB is copying us!

    Megan Thu, May 19, 12:03am

    Reply

    Julia is a beautiful name! It’s classic and ladylike without being too common – great choice. Another consideration for the likelihood of having your child be in a class with five same-named kids (like I was – one of many, many Megans!) is the region in which you live (my son’s name was totally unique on the west coast/northeast but more common in the south-we’re a military family so we move a lot)…I wanted great names for my children that were neither strange nor very common and found that a great resource is the Social Security registry when looking for what to avoid – so far my kids have never had a friend/classmate with the same name, nor has their name ever been confusing to anyone! Thank you for the great post; I really enjoy your site!

    Elizabeth Sun, Dec 9, 2:57pm

    Reply

    Julia is classic and perfect! Our girls are named “Isabelle Rose” and “Ilsa Clare”. Them both having “I” names was completely by accident. We didn’t even think of it until after we named Ilsa. We were going to name Ilsa, Juniper, but we caught TONS of slack for it and the day of her birth, we renegotiated and stuck with Ilsa. Isabelle is almost 11 and that name wasn’t trending at the time. I went with it because it is classic and elegant! Ilsa is another story. Ilsa is the lead character from the classic movie, CasaBlanca. My husband and I LOVE that movie and we had it playing during our wedding reception.Thus, came Ilsa!

    I agree with you whole heartedly with all your points!

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