This birthday is going to be one I look back on with the most relevance. I had sort of been dreading today. It’s not that I don’t love birthdays. They are actually my favorite days to celebrate. I think everyday above ground is a good one. But the real reason I was not at all excited is because the first part of my thirties didn’t turn out like they were supposed to. Boo-hoo for me. I had a vision when I turned 30 of how my life was going to progress and it disintegrated. Let me explain…

Grayson was born in August of 2008. That was the time of the stock market crash. My husband is in the financial industry so you can probably guess the stress level in our house. We stabilized. We were hit again. We stabilized. Another set-back. Held steady. Boom. Bust. You get the picture. For the entire year of 2011 I physically felt like someone had their hands around my neck. Squeezing. Fun times, huh? I worried for our future constantly. I was living in fear. Paralyzing fear.  I was waiting for the outcome of others to determine the path of MY life. Big mistake. Huge. (In case you didn’t catch it – that was a Pretty Woman reference).

I don’t feel the fear anymore. My pity party is over. I have control of the direction of my future no matter what goes on around me. Yes, there will always be setbacks but they will no longer paralyze me. I have never felt more love for my family or more confidence in myself than I do now. I am forever changed and I owe that to the difficult experiences over the past few years. So 35 will forever be known as the year of becoming FEARLESS. Happy birthday to me.

 

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Written by Lea Barlow • 3 Comments